12/10/19 - Frozen 2 (2019) - 3+/4-/10

I hated Frozen. I don’t think it was an awful film, but I despised viewing it. I never saw it a second time. Why would I? So, why would I see Frozen 2? Because I have legitimate issues with self-love/self-harm. What did I think of Frozen 2? I was not a fan.

I thought all of the songs were garbage. Nothing memorable, catchy, and utilized the worst of musicals tendency. I just rolled my eyes every bland moment another tune was jammed in there. There was no intrigue with any of the plot and zero stakes. It sillily jumped from point to point, simplistic and boring. It is a kids movie, I do get that, but even a children’s film should build on a character and further their story, developing who and what they are. This was another failure, just languidly splat upon the screen. This felt like the most inconsequential animated Disney film in years. Please let this be the last one.

Was there anything good? Well, it was blissfully short, so that was a big plus. It was still too long, but it could have been worse. I soaked up none of the joy that my theatrical cohorts reveled in, but I did find the fire gecko to be adorable and the water mare cool, in use and appearance. And for my last compliment, I will make it backhanded: I liked the possibility for something interesting it provided but did not capitalize upon. There were big extraordinary plot points and character machinations that could have been executed, but they just let them wither away. Reminded me of when the Phantom Menace makes Anakin a prophetic figure from a virgin birth and then DO NOTHING WITH IT. What a waste.

Obviously, this was not a movie meant for me and the odds of me liking it were slim. That said, I didn’t. I think it was a tired and uninspired effort that couldn’t accomplish anything other than regurgitated children movie blah-bitty-blah. Once again, no thanks.