8/4/19 - Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbes and Shaw (2019) - 4-/10

Perhaps the most insane, ridiculous and excessive film I have seen in a while. This also might be the least believable of the big Rock blockbuster flicks, making less sense than the one where a mutagen makes giant gorilla, gator, and wolf fight each other and a city. Now, that does not mean there is not enjoyment to be found. The Fast and Furious franchise is proper rollicking nos-fueled machismo mayhem, a fun time if you are inclined. This isn’t disinclined to provide similar nonsense, but to me, this car careened off the road.

Neither I or anyone should be expecting something other than what should be expected. It is fun sometimes, when it isn’t grinding you down with the same joke, the same bit, the same action and the same gimmick. This is a 2 hour 17 min bloat when it should have been a tight 90. I had no use for the guest stars (Reynolds and Hart). Un-fun-y. Similarly, the 4-5 music video sequences and the dangling story/character elements brought nothing other than some time wasting and eye-rolling. Unsatisfying choices in the direction and production.

Sure the franchise has kept upping the ante (car theft, to major drug money heists, to physics defying auto feats, to globe spanning world doom terror plots with “magic” tech), but they may have jumped the proverbial shark decaled roadster in this one. Can you walk back from super-future mega tech Bondian Illuminati, that can and has done anything including resurrecting the dead into super-powered cyborg soldiers. This is the same problem that other franchises like Bourne have sillily tripped into, and I don’t know if F&F can claw its way back to reliably human or understandable. 

This is also the first time in a while where the enchantment of the Rock didn’t persist, sustain and entertain. I got bored with the continuous press of “the Rock” button, that had dramatically diminishing returns. Elba is having fun but I never felt the menace. A Marlow was probably needed more than the cyborg Stringer Bell, but he sufficed. Statham is a steady placeholder of sneering masculinity, but Vanessa Kirby was a standout. Stunning and capable with an oozing sensuality and clever machinations acting beneath each flick of her eyes. It was hard not to walk away and jump on how much she stuck out amidst this rut of ridiculousness and rock-hard...action.

Nobody expects an Oscar or all-time cinematic gem but I also wanted a bit better.