7/3/20 - GUNS AKIMBO (2020) - 2+/10

The new generation’s Sucker Punch, but without the semblance of subtext or real thought - and that is saying something . A hyper ADHD carnival ride of bloviating gratuitous violence, performed in the most unreal and glorified way possible. It acts as though it is flirting with societal critique, but its ballad-filled ballets of slow motion blood and action-porn cosplay reveled in the needless orgy of murder and mayhem at its grossest levels. This is a vacant middle-school ammo filled ejaculation of epic and seemingly unending degrees. 

The extent that they feel they needed to declass and deject was extraordinary. The script is all cliches that somehow make the moments that are supposed to stick out as “turning the norms on their ear” even more trite and useless. It was as if an anthropomorphic fentanyl & meth hit mainlined Hardcore Henry, Guardians of the Galaxy and Scott Pilgrim, sinking into its Cheeto encrusted jizz blanket, online shopping for gun magazines and Call of Duty sniper spots, all the while cheap porn is streaming in the background.

I am seriously trying to remember a single moment from the film that I enjoyed besides a token solid turn Rhys Darby as crack smoking helpful bum, and even that stretched my limits and fixated on the lowest common denominator. I don’t blame Radcliffe, he is doing his best. Weaving is supposed to be so over the top, but I couldn’t not despise her shitty anime character come to life.

Perhaps it executed its “bright lights and blipping images” to its desired degree, but I found it tasteless, tactless, and honestly, kind of terrible.