3/28/2016 - Batman vs (I'm not writing f'n "v") Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) - 3-/10

Tough to get in too much of a tiffy over this lackluster extravaganza. It is a poor sequel to a disappointing movie, which I had very little excitement for and ended up justifying my apathy.

F*cking failure. This movie has no idea what it wants to be or is trying to say? A thesis on super powered people in our modern society and their theoretical role? A dichotomy on the ways capes approach crime fighting and problem solving? A love letter to the romance between Superman and Lois? A super punch-em-up with the standard "good guys don't like the cut of each other's jibs, but come together in the face of true villainy"? Shameless grittification of an already increasingly somber super hero genre? A plausible and understandable coming together of one of the greatest super powered teams of all-time, to then set up film franchises for decades? How about just a serviceable sequel to Man of Steel, that leads this character further down his path of the hero’s journey?...If you guessed all and none at the same time, then congratulations, you are the winner! (At least someone “won” in this mess)

Not a single plot line comes to any kind of logical fruition. None of their emotions or actions ring true, of the characters that we know or whatever versions they have concocted to make billions of dollars on this flashy big screen monstrosity. It's all impotent, truncated, and leaves the audience continually asking "why?".

Style over substance: the hallmark of Snyder. Give him something extremely basic, straightforward that is all style and ambience, and he can add visual flair (ala 300). Anything more than that (ie, more involved than a generic music video) and he is lost.
No credible direction of actors. Ben did well with what he was given, as did Eisenberg to some extent (even though I HATED this annoying character, he did go for it), but everyone else had the emotional heft of a bucket of sand. If Gadot/WW had anything to do, she would be praised. Hell, with next to no lines and no semblance of a real goal/plot, she still almost stole the show and is the ONLY character I am interested in seeing more of.

Was it all the worst thing ever? Of course not. Does Snyder have a serviceable cinematic panache? Yes. He can construct a sweet still frame. But he continuously goes back to the same tired well. All slow mo and washed out color palette. The murder of the Waynes (thank you, we sure haven’t ever seen this before. Well needed.) looked like the priciest and coolest student film version possible. And apparently you can only approach Wayne manor slow mo walking in a field with a wide angle. Gag me.

This was all a long drawn out mess of a franchise set-up, which didn’t work. As a well-versed comic nerd, I was disappointed and with wasted stories and shoddy character usage. As a film fan, this felt hollow, bleak, and uninteresting. This is not how you properly tell a story or get people excited for more, but apparently this is just how you cash checks… I thought it wouldn’t be good and it wasn’t. I don’t always like be right.

As a geek, true disappoinment.

Mini geek rant with SPOILERS:
- Has Batman killed? Yes. Does he do it more in movies? Yes. Should he do it with the thrilling abandon and wanton vengeful lust we see in this film? NO. That is kind of a general rule of the pre-established Batman character. He doesn’t kill (in general). Taking that away, or vacillating heavily between "he does/doesn't" pisses on the institution.
Also, guns aren't his thing, don't make them as such. And do we need Batman to be any more "dark and gritty"? Jeez.
- I would say more about Superman killing, but what is the point? Covered that with the first round. History... doomed to repeat..blah,blah,blah. Dumb. (Sorry guys. It IS harder to right a credible story without Supes just murdering everyone. That is why it means so much to do it... Lazy)
- Neither Batman or Superman have any real reason for a single thing they do here. And each time, those motivations are subverted and thrown away. There is no emotional journey. No one learns anything (other than that they share the same name of their mothers. Whelp)
- Luthor starts out interesting, but devolves into shtick. He has actual valid points that he could use for his motivations, but you've turned him into a Riddler/Joker knock-off. We don't need a lunatic Luthor. Who can get behind that? Ruined.
- This dream bull shit was abominable. The main plot points are derived from fantasy conversations in characters heads. Wow. Good call.
- Alien ship makes no sense. "Hey! You aren't supposed to be here!... but, there is no one else.. So, you wanna be our leader and make us do everything we are not supposed to do cuz...why not?" Screw you film logic.
- How does everyone know everyone else's secret identity? They have not investigated each other at all. What is the point of having them then?
- Truly.. A MILLION MORE THINGS, but who cares. This movie is not good and I am tried of talking about it. Buy me a drink and I'll play you a tune about the shittiness of BvS. Until then, let's hope this and Superman both stay dead.