Carcharias ex machina

1/10/18 - 47 Meters Down (2017) - 3-/10

Just when you think Mandy Moore can’t get out acted by a CGI shark... This movie is an underwater dumpster fire, filled with every cliche you can fit into a shark dive cage. But, I will give it credit for some decent shark CGI, a couple pretty cool shots/set pieces, somewhat bleak fortunes for our protagonists (can they be protagonists if I am cheering for the sharks?), and a completely uninterested Mathew Modine lounging on deck. That said, this one is only for the sharkiest of shark film fans.

47 METERS DOWN: UNCAGED (2019) - 2/10

If you thought the first one was bad… take a chomp out of the second one and bust your teeth. This sequel is a glorified “made for the SyFy channel original”, with more money and more names than necessary. And, when I say more names, I mean the parents, for this glorious flick features the talented progeny of Jamie Foxx and Sylvester Stallone. Likewise, we get the lesser children of the former flick’s CGI sharks, blind and shoddily animated. It’s not their fault, but they were hard to buy into.

The premise is quite silly and the execution certainly left much to be desired. It might be the dumb kind of fun that you want, but the scares were drowned alongside any intrigue or excitement.