"...every element produced a groan, a drink, or both" Read More
"Rarely does it make much sense, never is it exciting, and almost entirely unsatisfactory. " Read More
" pained suicidal melancholy of the too old Logan Read More
"But as it went on and on, the already stripped downess grew threadbare and monotonous." Read More
"Surprisingly not awful." Read More
"Horizon was a bit of a cinematic shotgun, being imperfect but still blasting you in the face with intense drama and horrific action." Read More
"Gods of Egypt is a gold encrusted turd, a Red Bull-fueled CGI monstrosity of Western bastardizations and cultural vomit." Read More
"Matt Damon numbly hits his marks and states his inane dialogue, unable to breathe anything into this void of tale." Read More
"None of this works or makes sense, even for a bad video game adaptation" Read More
"Quick twitch zombie savagery trapped in the confines (or coffins) of speeding rail cars!" Read More
The love has gone, only to be replaced by “meh… it’s fine” Read More
"fun but meandering" Read More
"a bevy of problematic elements and unpolished pieces that hinder the film and activated my “Nitpicker 9000”." Read More
"A tasty, but ultimately unfulfilling cake, that everyone at the party likes, but it lacks that superb frosting that would have people talking about it later – “you remember that amazing cake?” Read More
"This was was a color-by-numbers where the artist is grinding the colored pencils as they scribble." Read More
"Palatable enough to choke down, but a sumptuous Western feast to rival its forebears or genre compadres it was not" Read More
"Felt a lot like an episode of one of the series, both to its benefit and its detriment." Read More
"One of the better disaster films to come out in a while" Read More
'It amazingly makes the original seem brilliant by comparison" Read More
"Can't we and the CIA just let Bourne live out the rest of his days off the grid?" Read More